The Critical Role of Parents and Adult Guardians in Protecting Children

Presented from a Child Protection Practitioner’s Perspective, by Dr Shaheda Omar, Director, Teddy Bear Foundation

Children today grow up in a world where friendships, learning, entertainment and social interaction increasingly take place online. While digital spaces offer opportunities, they also expose children to grooming, cyberbullying, sexual extortion, exploitation through gaming and chat platforms, and the misuse of images, including AI-generated and manipulated images.

The screen may be digital, but the harm is real.

Online abuse can leave children experiencing fear, shame, anxiety, isolation, sleep disturbances and lasting emotional trauma. During school holidays and festive periods, when children may have more screen time and less adult supervision, their vulnerability can increase.

As child protection practitioners, we must therefore ask ourselves: Who is protecting the child behind the screen?

The answer begins with us — the parents, guardians, caregivers and trusted adults in a child’s life.

1. UNDERSTANDING THE RISK

Online abuse does not always begin with an obvious threat. It may start with attention, compliments, gifts, gaming credits or someone who appears to understand a child.

Gradually, the relationship may progress to secrecy, inappropriate conversations, requests for intimate images, pressure to meet, threats or blackmail.

A perpetrator may tell a child, “Keep this secret,” or threaten to expose them if they refuse to comply.

We must understand that children can be manipulated, deceived and intimidated. A friendly online profile is not proof of a safe person, and a child’s apparent willingness to engage does not justify exploitation or abuse.

Our responsibility is to recognise these risks, educate children and intervene early.

2. THE PARENT OR GUARDIAN: A CHILD’S FIRST LINE OF PROTECTION

The role of a parent or adult guardian goes far beyond providing food, shelter, clothing and education. It includes creating an environment in which a child feels safe, valued, heard and protected — both online and offline.

First, build trust before a crisis occurs.

Children must know that they can approach us when something frightening, confusing or uncomfortable happens online. If our first response is anger, blame or punishment, a child may remain silent, allowing the abuse to continue.

Let us replace questions such as, “Why did you send that picture?” with words such as, “I am glad you told me. I believe you. This is not your fault. We will work through this together.”

Second, be present in the child’s digital world.

Parents and guardians should know which apps, games, platforms and group chats children use. Review privacy settings, messaging permissions and location sharing. Use age-appropriate parental controls transparently, establish reasonable boundaries and discuss online safety regularly.

However, protection is not simply about taking away a phone or monitoring every conversation. It is about helping children understand risks, make safer decisions and seek help when necessary.

Third, recognise changes in behaviour.

Sudden anxiety, withdrawal, irritability, disturbed sleep, fear of notifications, unexplained gifts or unusual secrecy may indicate that a child is struggling.

These signs do not automatically prove abuse, but they should prompt gentle, non-judgmental conversation.

Ask: “You seem worried lately. Is there anything happening online or offline that you would like to talk about?”

Notice the changes. Ask the questions. Listen carefully.

Fourth, teach children boundaries and personal safety.

Every child must understand that they have the right to say no, leave an uncomfortable conversation and refuse requests for personal information or intimate images.

Teach children to stop, check, protect and speak: stop when something feels wrong; check whether an online contact can be trusted; protect personal information; and speak to a trusted adult.

Most importantly, children must know that they are never to blame when someone deceives, manipulates, threatens or exploits them.

3. FROM MONITORING TO MENTORING: THE INVISIBLE GUARDIAN

At the Teddy Bear Foundation, the concept of the invisible guardian offers an important way of thinking about child protection.

An invisible guardian is not an absent parent, nor an adult who secretly controls every aspect of a child’s life. It is a trusted adult whose consistent presence, guidance and vigilance help keep a child safe, even when that adult is not physically beside them.

This means being involved without being unnecessarily intrusive; asking questions without interrogating; setting boundaries without humiliating; and guiding rather than simply policing.

It means building relationships in which children can think critically, recognise manipulation and ask for help without fear.

Our goal must be to move from monitoring to mentoring.

Technology can support protection, but technology alone cannot replace a trusting relationship with a responsible adult.

A child who knows that an adult will listen, believe them and act in their best interests is better positioned to disclose harm early.

4. WHEN ABUSE OCCURS: RESPOND WITH CARE

Despite our best prevention efforts, abuse may still occur. When a child discloses abuse, our response can either support recovery or deepen the trauma.

We must remain calm, listen without judgment, thank the child for telling us and reassure them that the abuse is not their fault.

Preserve relevant evidence safely, including usernames, links, dates and threatening messages, without circulating or forwarding sexual images of a child. Report the matter to the appropriate child protection authorities, the police and the relevant online platform, and seek trauma-informed professional support.

Do not shame the child, pay an extortionist or recklessly confront a suspected perpetrator. Do not promise that all images or information can be permanently erased.

Above all, do not handle the situation alone.

In South Africa, children and caregivers can contact Childline South Africa on 116 for child protection support and counselling. In an emergency or immediate danger, contact SAPS on 10111.

Early intervention matters. A timely, supportive response can interrupt further harm and help a child begin to recover.

5. A CALL TO ACTION FOR EVERY PARENT AND GUARDIAN

As we approach holiday periods and other times when children’s routines change, let every household develop a simple family digital safety plan.

Review privacy and location settings. Know the apps and games children use. Agree on reasonable screen-time boundaries and regular check-ins. Identify trusted adults and emergency contacts. Discuss what a child should do if someone threatens, pressures or frightens them online.

Most importantly, make safety a shared responsibility rather than a conversation that happens only after something has gone wrong.

Let us remember that protecting children is not about creating fear of technology. It is about equipping children to use technology safely while ensuring that responsible adults remain available, attentive and ready to act.

CONCLUSION

A child may have access to a smartphone, the internet and countless digital connections, yet still feel alone when faced with abuse.

Our responsibility is to ensure that no child has to face that fear alone.

Let us be the adults who notice the warning signs, create space for honest conversations, listen without shame and act when protection is needed.

Let us be curious, not controlling; vigilant, not fearful; supportive, not judgmental.

Let us move from monitoring to mentoring, from silence to disclosure, and from reaction to prevention.

Because protecting a child is not merely about controlling what they see online. It is about strengthening the relationship that enables them to seek help when something goes wrong.

Online abuse can leave offline trauma, but early support, responsible caregiving and effective child protection can make a difference.

May every child have a trusted adult who stands beside them, speaks up for them and protects their right to grow up safe, respected and free from abuse.

Protect childhood in every space — online and offline.

*Image credit: iStock